Tanking for Dummies


Eternal Vigilance!
March 27, 2009, 12:01 am
Filed under: Humor | Tags: , ,

What ability makes warriors unique among tanks?  It costs no rage.  It has no cooldown.  Yet seemingly has unique uses that are discovered every day!

Vigilance!  Are you using it?  Why the hell not?  You need to have it up all the time!  Never Let down your guard!  Threat is everywhere!  We must be Eternally Vigilant!

Mad Eye Moody uses Vigilance! (Image courtesy of the BBC)

If Harry Potter played WoW, this would be his tank. (Image courtesy of the BBC)

Your Vigilance target has reduced threat.

Bam.  Big Blue took away your Blessing of Salvation?  DPS didn’t “waste points” on agro reduction talents?  Vigilance is there for you.  Force your worst offenders to wear the Badge of Shame as a reminder that they don’t have the balls to manage their threat on their own.  Keep those Death Knight off tanks In Their Place with the strength of your vigilant gaze.  Healer a bit over zealous with their Greater Heal button when you’re pulling? FUCKING VIGILANCE.

Your Vigilance target gives their threat to YOU.

Perhaps you thought threat reduction was enough?  Think again.  With Vigilance you suck out their threat like you’ve got some damn vampiric kung-fu grip.  It’s ten percent, that means ten percent less for them and ten percent more for you.  That’s like TWENTY PERCENT .  What kind of tank doesn’t want twenty percent more threat?  I don’t know.  Maybe some kind of Pinko Nazi Sympathizer Tank.

When you tank without vigilance, you tank with the Führer!

When you tank without Vigilance, you tank with the Führer!

Your Vigilance target takes 3% less damage.

Hateful Strike killing the assigned tank?  Dragons Breath frying your fellow?  Help them live with Vigilance.  Death Knight being reckless with Death Grip?  Save their butt and tell them what you think of their antics with Vigilance.  They think it’s hard to kill your healer in PvP?  Wait until they try it WITH VIGILANCE.

Your Vigilance target gives you more taunts.

Sometimes it is hard to get a mob’s attention.  Sometimes, those cracks about their mother fall flat.  But with Vigilance, you will be like a taunting machine.  The Vigilant Tank knows their opponent’s every secret.  The Vigilant Tank is not afraid to tell Instructor Rezuvious what he thinks of his “late night practice sessions” with the new death knight trainees.  The Vigilant Tank does not hesitate to remind Baron Rivendare why his nickname is the “Baron of No Pants”.  The Vigilant Tank is like a font of spite, venom, and hate and KNOWS NO MERCY.

Your Vigilance target can change whenever you want it to.

Like your threat meter?  You’ll love it even more with Vigilance.  Turn Omen into your Vigilance watch list.  Rule those agro monkeys with the iron gaze of your Vigilance.  Those Mages will check over their shoulder before they go to bed at night and wonder if you’re watching.  You need but smile and remind them, “It’s for your own protection, citizen.”

Your Vigilance target needs new and improved Vigilance.

Glyph of Vigilance is comming soon.  If you are not using Vigilance now, you could loose out on this exciting opportunity for YET MORE BETTER VIGILANCE.

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10 Comments so far
Leave a comment

*snicker*

Comment by Jov

There is only one thing I think Blizz needs to add to Vigilance… that it slaps the Failknights on the back of the head everytime they use deathgrip.

Or lets use shield slam them in the face.

Other than that I’m an over-achiever when it comes to Vigilance and wouldn’t think about tanking without it.

Comment by Kudos

@ Kudos – I recommend adding via macro a /w %T to your Vigilance target that says: “You are being watched, citizen.”

Comment by Tarsus

[…] to acknowledged the full awesome that is disc.  Also, even if you don’t tank, I think this post is hilarious.  <3 […]

Pingback by Friday Musings, Links, and Comparisons « I Like Bubbles

Second picture had me in giggles. Sillies aside.. Vigilance is good, use it.

It took me long enough to actually get it for my tanking build but having tasted it, I’ll never tank without it again. :)

Comment by vadrigald

Loved the second picture. Sillies aside though, Vigilance is good! Use it!

It sure took me long enough to spare a talent point for it for tanking, but having tasted its many uses I will never tank without it again. :)

Comment by Vads

Awesome post. Vigilance is like cowbell. You always need more.

Comment by Darraxus

best

Comment by Jeremiah

post

Comment by Jeremiah

ever

Comment by Jeremiah




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