Tanking for Dummies

Advice to the Littlest Warrior
May 4, 2009, 12:01 am
Filed under: Roleplaying | Tags: , ,


You wish to be a warrior of the Horde?  Then remember these lessons young orc.

The heart of the warrior is rage.  Rage at the Draenei, Goblin, and Gnome that foul the Earthmother’s Body.  Rage at the Dwarf that digs into the bowls of the Earthmother to satisfy their hunger for knowledge and wealth.  Rage at the Human who must deform the Earthmother’s face to live with her.  Rage at the Elf who is never satisfied with his place in the Earthmother’s eye.  Only in death does the warrior no longer feel their rage.

The strength of the warrior is his friend.  The strength of a warrior may be counted not by the notches on his axe, but in the number of his comrades.  Why concern yourself with the loss of a hand when your friend has two?  Why worry over hidden threats when your friend has your back?  Why sleep fitfully when your friend has the watch?

Why die alone when your friend is there beside you?

The passion of the warrior is life.  Let not the firewater go untasted.  Ignore not the smile of the squwah.  Accept not the insults of the enemy.

Fear not dark things.  Every warrior learns to laugh at them.  Fear not plauge.  A wise warrior brings a shaman.  Fear not dragon, or naga, or demon, or god.  A true warrior fears nothing.

The way of the warrior is death.  To walk the path of the warrior is to feel flesh rent by steel, muscle ripped by arrows, and blood boiled by fire.  To be the warrior is to never know dotage, weakness, or old age.  Death is often with the warrior, for the warrior is a bringer of death.  The greatest warriors know death so well it is like an old friend.  Is it any wonder why they meet it so eagerly?

Feel this hand small one.  The fur here has long worn away and grown hard.  You can tell it is not the hand of the smith or the hunter.  One day, your hand too will be hardened by the weapon that wields it.  Once, it hurt to swing the axe for so long.  Now my grip is so hard that the steel and wood of the handle warps with use.  You can tell the hand that prefers the axe by the scars upon his thumb.  The axe is the old friend of your people, you will see a mark like this one on the hand of many a Grunt.

Here is my shield.  Trust not the claims of a warrior who does not own a shield.  It is both wall and weapon.  I should sooner be without all my armor or weapons than without my shield.  The shield guards not only the warrior but his friends.  The wizard may rely upon his magic but the shield teaches him the value of silence.  There are many like this shield, but this one is mine.  The shield is shaped by the blows it has taken and dealt for the warrior; to strike your shield is to announce your presence to the enemy.  It’s echo speaks of deeds better than any title.  Words can lie, but the sound of the shield will always tell the truth.

You are still young it is true, but when you speak truthfully of your desire, that is all that is required to become a warrior.  Once a warrior, should you remember what I have said, you shall always be one, even though your bones lie buried on the field where they fell.

As your people say: “Lok’tar” Littlest Warrior.  Let me show you what a warrior of the Horde does today.

In honor of Children’s Week, marking 4 years since my first warrior stepped off the shores of Kalimdor for the first time, and showed an orphan a thing or three about the world.


10 Comments so far
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Man, your orphan’s lucky. All Meth’s got was years of therapy bills and an irrational fear of candy.

Children’s Week makes me nostalgic too :)

Comment by Yuki

@ Yuki – Jov, Seri, and I took ours to Karazhan for a bit of nostalgia and ~250 gold. Not bad for 2 hours.

Comment by Tarsus

Made my smile man. I dig the roleplaying post and Warriors rule!

Comment by kittoes

I want to link this post to every warrior I’ve run upon that doens’t own a shield. (not even a green one!)

Comment by Rubymelon

Very nice post. Too bad you are Horde 0_0

Comment by Darraxus

@ kittoes – I did role up on a Role Playing server for a reason, even if I don’t end up doing it that much (that is a whole other post in and of itself).

@ Rubymelon – You can’t tank without one!

@ Darraxus – Horde has the warrior spirit, what can I say? Though the Human King seems like he’s got a wee bit of rage in him.

Comment by Tarsus

Great post – got me all fired up to be a warrior again.

Comment by Anea

I dunno about warrior spirit, but Varian definitely has warrior Int :P

Comment by Yuki

He he, great post, made me laugh and cry. Aww. Also, that picture is awesome, even if it kinda looks like you’re going to eat the kid.

I can’t remember which it was but one of the NPCs that you take “Dornaa” the little draenei to see says “she is of great importance in the future” or something along those lines. And I thought to my self, how awesome would it be if in the next Wrathgate type story there was Dornaa, clad in some gear fighting with you, and she’d be all, “Elgar, you showed me so much, let me help you!” Awww.

Comment by Elgar

@ Anea – Did you delete you last one or is she waiting around?

@ Yuki – If he lost a bit of angst, he’d be good. Still, as long as Saurfang is alive I think the title of “Greatest Warrior NPC” is spoken for.

@ Elgar – I was going to do something more with the pic, but the patch broke the WoW Model Viewer and I haven’t found an update yet.

Also, I think the scene in question is likely in the caverns of time. The Blood Elf orphan has a similar scene there. Given the time spans in question, I think it’s much more likely to come up again in a future Warcraft game post WoW. At least two years off I’d bet.

Comment by Tarsus

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