Tanking for Dummies

It’s a Boar!
October 9, 2009, 12:01 am
Filed under: Gear, Humor | Tags: , , ,

I personally thing that the new Tier 10 looks awesome.  As far as the texturing goes, it probably looks more like actual armor than most of the tier sets.  There are some things I am sure we could quibble about, the fact that once again the Horde (red) version looks infinitely cooler than the Alliance version (blue).  I just have one small, teensy problem.

I’m going to have to be correcting people about the animal on the shoulders.

It’s not a pig.  It’s a boar.

You might want to practice saying it in the mirror, because it would seem that you’re going to be saying it for some time to come – or something like it.  Apparently Blizzard has this crazy idea that Warriors should not have animals on their shoulders that could be un-ambiguously wild.  First it was the Sheep/Goat/Ram thing.  Now we have the Pig/Boar thing.  What are we doing here?  Putting on a production of Animal Farm?  Seriously folks.

Druids?  Nothing ambiguous about stags or moose.

Shamans?  Nothing ambiguous about wolves.

Hunters?  Nothing ambiguous about anything.  Remember the giant blinking eyes on their shoulders?

But Warriors?  We can’t even get a predator on our shoulders, let alone something that’s unabashedly un-domesticated.

So here’s some future inspiration Blizzard:  How about something that makes us look like a Bear?  Hell, even a badger would be preferably unambiguous, if probably stupid looking considering who is designing it.  Or, you know what, how about no animals what-so-ever.  History is replete with awesome looking examples of plate armor that have no animal symbolism.

I’m not picky, my blue worded friends.  All I want is armor that doesn’t leave me open to ridicule.  They have focus groups for this, but I’m sure if you just asked Ratshag he would be happy to inform you that there’s a pig on the shoulders.  What can I say?  The orc has taste.

I suppose at least I don’t have to worry about Saurfang eating me.  Not that I wouldn’t wipe ten thousand times over just to have a chance to fight by the side of the greatest warrior who ever lived.

Oh wait. I do.

Man I love being Horde. Sometimes you really need pity the Alliance.  You all miss so much awesome, it’s not even funny.


8 Comments so far
Leave a comment

We get Sylvannus instead of Jaina in the 5-man, too :D. But I have to say there’s something oddly reassuring about the fact that as a DK I’ll pretty much always only get skulls, FOREVER.

Also the coloration isn’t necessarily Alliance-Horde; it’s just as if not more likely that they’re 10-man vs. 25-man and heroic vs. normal.

Comment by Yuki

There’s a lot you can do with skulls, and that’s not always a good thing. You should be careful what you wish for.

Comment by Tarsus

I’ll be honest, if our tier helm was ever a Mr. Skullhead bow I would never take that thing off.

Comment by Yuki

This is because you’re strange. But we knew that already.

Comment by Tarsus

Horde is teh sux!

But yeah….why a goat then a pig….next up…SIAMESE CAT SHOULDERS!

Comment by Darraxus

I was thinking some sort of bird. That way we can add chickens to the list.


Comment by Tarsus

I think they were looking for “tough” animals (hence the ram?) but I don’t think of boars as…tough. Vicious, maybe (seriously, feral pigs are Not Good).

Ah well, I’m just glad I’m not stuck in paladin tier anymore. *dances*

…on my main, anyway. QQ.

Comment by Ambrosyne

Instead you are ninja priest.

Paladin Tier 2 is still the best designed armor in the game, however.

Comment by Tarsus

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: