Tanking for Dummies

Dear Greatfather Winter,
December 9, 2009, 12:01 am
Filed under: Humor | Tags:

You are real!  You are real!  I told all the other raiders but they didn’t believe me.  They said you were just Thrall all dressed up in a suit.  But I knew better.  Just because he can be in multiple places at once doesn’t mean he is the one that brings presents to all the good warriors of the Horde.  I kept the faith!  We sure showed them!

In any case, seeing as you have already made one wish come true, I was hoping, maybe, possibly, you might do another one?  I’ve been really really good!  All the naughty blood elves always poke fun at me with their bad hamburger jokes, but even though I really wanted to I didn’t war stomp even one!  I even volunteered to DPS when we needed it.  I even slaughtered Varian Wrynn this year!  Plus, it’s something so teeny that your phenomenal cosmic powers should be able to totally do it easily.

All I want for winter’s vale is a brand new, shiny, Overlord Varok Saurfang Edition Mechano-Hog with the Arctic Fur seats and Elementium Plated Exhaust Pipe!  I’ve wanted one ever since I came to Northrend, but I’m just a poor little meat-shield that spends all his money on consumables and repair costs for raids.  Since you already gave Joveta a whole patch I’m sure this won’t be too much to ask, will it?  I mean I can understand that your busy this time of year, but you have elves and goblins and stuff to make things like that.  Right?

Oh, and I have attached a picture of a Christmas Cookie for you.  It’s the one that I’ve been saving to give you, and I totally will when you come to Orgrimmar this year.

Very Best Happy Holidays,

Tarsus Grimtotem

PS: Don’t pay attention to what Jov says.  Sausages are delicious.  You should be careful though about the Goblin ones.  Sometimes they explode.