Tanking for Dummies

Hey You! From HoR Yesterday!
February 16, 2010, 2:48 pm
Filed under: Advice for Non Tanks, Rants | Tags: , , ,

Does line of sight mean anything to you?  I mean, the mob that’s killing you is at range.  How hard is this?

Answer: Pretty damn hard apparently.

It’s a pretty sad state of affairs in my opinion when the random joes and janes from LFD cannot be bothered to do something as simple as stand behind a segment of wall for five seconds.  The concept of the “Line of Sight Pull” was one of the first things I learned in Tank School, right after “If the healer dies it’s your fault.”  Have these nublettes gotten so spoiled by repetitive AoE/Tank/Loot that when they come into a situation where you can’t do that their brains cannot understand “Stay behind the wall until I have threat”?

Dear Paladin.  This is not PeeVeePees.  You cannot just walk out there and soak up damage.  That goddamn rifleman and his mage buddy are going to fuck you up.  You cannot blame the healer for your own stupidty.  I know you are doing it.  She’s sitting right next to me.  Oh look you died first again.

Dear Warlock.  Yes I have vigilance.  No you can’t have it because the mage has it and she does more threat than you, especially when the entire deal with this room is that YOU STAND BEHIND THE GODDAMN WALL TO GET THEM TOGETHER AND AOE THEM DOWN. Do not cast your stun when they are standing in the doorway.  Cast Rain of Fire over here.  After I have them.  And now you’re dead too.

I’m not a Death Knight.  I have one ability to get them over here from range, and it’s on a longer cooldown than Death Grip.

And now the healer is dead.  And I’m dead.  You know what?  This is the third time we’ve died thanks the exact same chain of events.  My courtesy is expired, and I’ve a raid in 40 minutes.  Good luck finding another Tank and healer.  Oh, wait, they’ll leave your group too because this is the way you pull this room you lazy-no-strategy-having-never-ran-BRD-without-heirlooms-talentless-hacks.

The moral of this story is that the extent of my patience for two badges is 20 gold in repair bills.


17 Comments so far
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May I add?

Dear scrub DK tank,

No, I didn’t initiate the vote to kick you. In fact, I voted against it. The fact that you felt the need to immediately assign blame to the healer in spite of the fact that I was magnanimously willing to put up with the fact that you have less health than our DPS of your same class, refrained from swearing at you for running out of range or line of sight, and never once complained about you never using your goddamn cooldowns perhaps reveals more about you than it does me. Perhaps you should reflect on the fact that your first healer probably abandoned you for a reason and that being both a douchebag AND a terrible tank is not a good way to keep us around.

Have fun waiting for another healer,

Comment by Yuki

For the sake of completion, these nubcakes have likely never run BRD at all, much less without heirlooms.

Just saying.

Comment by Psynister

That itty bitty corner in HOR, much like doors, makes me hate being a cow.

Comment by Kobeathris

Personally never liked the typical LOS method, I don’t feel like I’m mobile enough as a warrior. My first 3 or so clears were done in the center, with the healer on the anvil. Lately the method I use is just have everyone stack in the entrance alcove. I gain threat on all the melee/priest, H throw the mage and then charge and disarm the hunter. Works great, maybe one dps death so far.

Comment by Dread

I don’t know if it would have worked with this particular group – there seemed to be basic issues with staying together and not hitting things that I didn’t have agro on – particularly the Paladin (whose name should have been Mage-bait).

Comment by Tarsus

[…] been working on dragging myself out of my slump.  I have to say, however, that the HoR run that Tars so eloquently rants against was NOT what I needed right before a raiding progression night to get me in the mood to kick ass and […]

Pingback by Jov sez: Self-hate is a bitch « World of Snarkcraft

Dear Pug. I am a not a Paladin tank. Get in the fucking corner or die.

Comment by Darraxus

I’m sure you’d be far less angry with mage-bait… erm… the ret pally if he was running out there to, you know, be useful. I have a ret pally alt and my god… I wish more of them dusted off those buttons they haven’t clicked since pre-2.3. They can actually be quite useful.

Open letter to all ret pallies running HoR:
Read the tooltip for repentence. It isn’t just there to fill up your spellbook with another biblical sounding name anymore.

Comment by Llamaeggs

After doing a few runs with the LOS method, I’ve found that I prefer the entrance alcove method. It’s very easy if you have two classes that know how to CC effectively, though quite difficult if nobody can. I generally get the rogues first (to keep the healer from getting stunned) and use Heroic Throw when I get in a tricky situation. Not too bad when the group has a few braincells to rub together, but it sounds as if that was not the case in Tarsus’ run.

Comment by Lujanera

Don’t do the LOS method if you have anyone who can CC the rifleman (undead). He is the problem due to 50% damage debuff. Standing in the entrance means everyone can see what is going on and doesn’t get frustrated. Smoothest runs and less anger.

Of course, idiots are idiots.

Comment by Fidtz

A tank once thanked me (playing my ret paladin) for CC’ing all the time during those waves in HoR. I don’t know, somehow I found that rather sad.
HoR as a healer or tank reminds me of Shattered Halls Heroic during BC (as a Priest healer).
Just that Shattered Halls was much longer…

Comment by poka

Funny thing was, you could probably clear Shattered Halls faster because (at least if you were well geared enough) you controlled how fast the waves went. This was before they capped AoE damage of course, so if you had a Paladin Tank, and three DPS capable of AoE, you could clear it astonishingly quickly.

Comment by Tarsus

Well, the run I remember (the worst of the worst) we had a mage and a lock… but warrior tank. I died about 3 times during the gauntlet alone… *sigh*

Comment by poka

Actually AoE was already capped in BC. Wrath didn’t really change anything in that regard; if anything, its spreading out of AoE is what’s made those kinds of clears so commonplace these days, simply because they’re more frequently an option than before where you really needed mages or warlocks.

Comment by Yuki

Dear scrub DPS,
Don’t LOL at me when I suggest CC in H HOR, especially after 2 wipes after we got over run because things weren’t dying fast enough, when your tank is doing 2x more dps than you there is an issue, yes I am geared but it doesn’t mean that we can face roll. When rogues are ganking ppl and range isn’t Los-ing because you refused to stand where you’re asked yes I will get mad, taunt is an 8 sec CD, when you keep hitting that ranged target after I taunt and its still not following me because of it… yes yes I will get mad at you. Don’t you dare bitch at me and the healer to keep your stupid ass up. Simple directions are simple. :P

-Rage filled bear

Comment by Shadowhisper

[…] groups with people who don’t understand corners. More […]

Pingback by They’re all smarter than you out there « new traditionalists

Bad thing with HoR is, you can’t reliablby 3 or 4-man it yet. Maybe in a few weeks or with ppl you know, but at the moment you depend on every single person in your pug-group.
That said, I just can’t let the dumb die and tank’n’heal through that encounter.
But LoS isn’t everbody’s darling. Take HoS, the 4-way-corner, back in time when you just couldn’t handle all 3 groups at once. Hell! Those ppl screwing up my pull drove me crazy.

Comment by Rurjaos

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